We've been talking over the last couple of days about giving your partner priority status. The opposite of that is taking your partner for granted. Here's what some people, who have been taken for granted have to say about it...
"it just becomes second nature to expect it from those that you know are doing you wrong."
"It sucks when someone takes me for granted because I have had self esteem issues for most of my life and I have a hard time standing up for myself."
"I truly do hate it.. problem is I never see it in time. I always take a hit right were it hurts."
Not pleasant images are they? "doing you wrong", "self esteem issues", "hit right where it hurts". Is that the kind of relationship you want for your partner?
As the very least it's impolite. In it's worst forms it's abuse. In any case, it's not something that builds up a relationship.
How do we fix it?
Show some appreciation. Say thank you. Notice when things are done for you.
Do things in return. Be engaged in the relationship. Participate.
Don't just take.
Stay in touch -
Mark
All I needed from my 23 year marriage was a hug, a thank you to show me that what I was doing for our family was appreciated and noticed, I know it was only keeping the house clean and tidy, providing home cooked meals a taxi service, working to enable us to have the extra money for vacations etc etc which is expected of a wife and mother and part of the job description. Children do say thank you, they give you a smile, a squeal, a hug when they have had a good experience/day, which is payment all in its self, and when they are older they do realize and appreciate what you did then for them, for the family.
ReplyDeleteBut, it is up to your partner to show that what you are doing there and now is worthwhile and valued, just having what you did noticed and appreciated is a wonderful feeling.
C