One of the secrets to being a good partner is to know which things are worth arguing about and which aren't. If you argue too much, you're a nag and a complainer - and absolutely no fun to be around. If you argue too little, you could become a door mat and end up getting pushed around. So pick your battles.
I often say "I don't necessarily agree with that, but it isn't a hill I want to die on." Meaning, yeah ok - that isn't my favorite thing, but it isn't a big enough deal to start a fight over.
So what is a battle worth "fighting". Obviously potential relationship breakers - such as cheating, lying, substance abuse, physical or emotional abuse, etc. And I think character issues are worth speaking up about.
But let me give you an example of when to shut up. Not that long ago a buddy told me that his wife had a crummy day. Just rotten. Just before bed she was complaining about something and said a couple of things that he really didn't like. He just kept his mouth shut and went with it. Why? Because her day was catching up with her, and him arguing with her was only going to make it worse. If that line of thought or complaining had continued over time (which it didn't), I'm sure he probably would have said something. But she was just blowing off steam and he did the right thing.
Some couples say they "never" argue. Ok good. For the rest of us, let's pick our battles wisely.
Stay in touch -
Mark
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