Perspectives

Yesterday I introduced you to Steve and Debbie, friends who are sharing their personal situation with us.

Steve's is happy after moving and starting a new job. Debbie is not happy, not working. Frustration is building.

From Steve's perspective she's literally being Debbie Downer because her lack of work is starting to impact every aspect of their lives. He says that she's constantly complaining, and looking at the glass half empty. Steve's a "glass half full" kind of guy and this is wearing on him. He's becoming frustrated at her frustration. Interesting.

From Debbie's point of view, she's glad Steve loves his job and doesn't begrudge him being happy. In fact, Steve's job isn't an issue at all. She's just very frustrated at the fact that she isn't contributing financially to the home, doesn't like the fact that she isn't working and frankly - she's bored.

This is a fine line to walk, because Steve needs to understand Debbie's position, and Debbie needs to understand that she can't let frustration in one part of her life override all of the good things they share.

At the same time, it isn't fair for Steve to suggest that Debbie can't complain about not finding work. Steve says that one of the things that irritates him is when he suggests different things to her to try and help, and she has excuses why his ideas won't work.

A job for Debbie would resolve one of the issues (her frustration) but wouldn't resolve the underlying problem of how they deal with stress. Let's see if they can make some progress during the tough time.

Stay in touch -

Mark