I have a friend who is very seriously considering a new job. And it's a good one.
No...a REALLY good one. He's in that period where the other company hasn't offered him the position yet, but he knows it's coming. And he's lost his focus on his current job. He's lost interest and simply doesn't care as much.
I'm not suggesting that friend has done anything wrong by looking for another job - it's perfectly fine. But the same thing happens in our relationships when someone else catches your eye. Maybe you've cheated or are just on the verge of cheating and all you can do is think of that other person. Your focus is diverted from your partner and the entire picture is clouded.
It's clouded because you've put your interest in someone else above your partner. Now, your partner's flaws are magnified. And every positive or attractive thing is diminished.
It's really important to understand that when you're in that "zone" - the picture you are seeing is distorted. It isn't real. Your new interest has just as many flaws (maybe more). Step back and look at it like you were a spectator, and not a participant. Take an objective view and you will see that the grass isn't greener, it's just a different shade of green.
Stay in touch -
Mark
Why do you start looking for another job? Because your not happy were you are anymore, it not that the pay changed, or the distance you travel to get there changed, its the self satisfaction that has been lost, the fact that you no longer (or perhaps never did) get the pat on the back "good job" no matter how hard you work at it!! You loose the momentum so you don't try as hard, you become jaded and unhappy.
ReplyDeleteIt is ok to see what other jobsthere are available, go for a few interviews, perhaps just doing that makes you realise that the job you have isn't quite so bad.
You can't do that with a relationship, just looking at the job posting is deemed wrong, never mind the interview.
Many of your past blogs encourage that pat on the back and might help towards stopping the jaded feeling and the need to look elsewhere!
Christine
I like that. "No honey, I wasn't cheating, it was an interview." :) You are right though. We look for another job because something isn't satisfying us where we are. We have to be careful though, because it's easy to jump over that thin dividing line and blame the other person for our own wandering.
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