It's a nice restaurant. It's a nice meal. Two couples out for a night on the town. One of the husbands needs to use the restroom. When he comes back, the wife playfully asks "did you wash your hands?" "No...I didn't have to, the sign in the restroom said "Employees"." The wife dies a little inside.
Why? She's embarrassed in front of her female friend. (Hint: That's really bad).
Now, I understand that this is a silly example. But it's a good way to describe how expectations are different between men and women. And frankly guys, we need to be thinking more about meeting her expectations. In many cases, women's standards are higher. And we could stand to reach a little higher ourselves.
Every one's home is different, so it's a little difficult for me to sit here in my office and tell other men exactly what expectations they should be shooting for. But I can give you a tip that will help you figure it out:
Pay attention to how she likes things. Then work towards that, as a goal.
Some simple, easy examples are:
She likes the dirty clothes to be in the hamper.
She likes the dirty dishes to be put right in the dishwasher.
When the dishwasher is full of clean dishes, empty it.
If you make a mess in the house, clean it up.
If you use it, put it away.
Here's a perfect example from my own life:
I was putting some clean shirts away, taking them from the laundry room to the closet upstairs. I got upstairs and remembered that my wife asked that those hangers stay in the laundry room, so she has something to hang clean shirts on.
If I just hung up the shirts, I'd be increasing her work effort next time she did the laundry. (Bad).
This is really nothing more than common sense...and common courtesy. But things like this are often overlooked - adding the stress of the lady of the house.
When you add to her stress, you decrease the wow factor in the relationship. When you reduce her stress, your wow factor soars.
Oh, and when you increase your wow factor, she'll tell her female fried what a great guy you are. (Hint: That's really good).
Stay in touch -
Mark
Hi Mark
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. Quite often we don't want to be "the nag", so we quietly put specific things in the same place a certain way each time. The idea being if you find it in the same place each time you will get to know that is where it goes. After a week, a month a year etc it should become obvious, then we don't have to say anything!! It is seeing and doing these little things that help us keep y"our" environment nice, clean and tidy and reduces the stress.This is one of the ways we show we love you, by caring for the little things the attention to detail, if you reciprocate it shows us that you appreciate what we do and that you care.
Christine