Pay Attention!

Guys, do you want to know something that will really turn on your wife or girlfriend? Pay attention to things she says or shows interest in, then surprise her later by doing something based on that interest.

Let's say she mentions a show that's coming to town. You could ask her on the spot if she wants to go, or you can go get the tickets and surprise her with them.
Pay attention to what she shows interest in while you're out shopping. The next time her birthday rolls around, you'll have a head start on what to get her. And let me just say, getting her a gift because of something she mentioned in passing several months back - is really a good way to impress her with your new skills.

Listen to her. Pay attention to what she says she likes (and dislikes) and act accordingly.

This is a basic building block of your relationship. This skill applies to virtually every aspect of your life. If you listen, pay attention and put it into action - your wow factor will rise like crazy! It applies to gift giving, doing things together, pitching in with help around the house, sex, dining - and on and on the list goes.

It's a great skill to learn. Pay attention...and act on what you learn!

Stay in touch -

Mark

Being Romantic...A Primer

I think that some guys rank being romantic right up there with Athlete's Foot and Jock Itch. Not really something we'd sign up for voluntarily. But, our partners want romance.

I've mentioned this stat before, but in a survey done in 2008 by Ogilvy Public Relations Worldwide, 76% of the 1001 adults surveyed said that wanted more romance.

Just over half of the respondents (52%) said that romance is completely missing from their relationship.

So, here are five quick, easy and painless ideas for increasing the romance in your relationship and increasing the Wow Factor!

1. Take her in your arms for no reason in the middle of the day and kiss her and tell her that you love her.

2. Send a bouquet of flowers to her at work.

3. Write "I love you" in the steamed up mirror while she's in the shower.

4. Touch her. Hold her hand, rub her feet, whatever. Touching is good.

5. Write her a note or card. Use your words. Tell her how much she means to you. Take several days to write the card if necessary.

See....that didn't hurt.

Be more romantic guys, it's worth the effort.

Stay in touch -

Mark

Change the World....Together

Short of cheating or emotional / physical abuse, one of the deadliest relationship killers is if one or both of you feels like you are "just existing." You wake up, go to work, do your daily routine, watch TV and go to bed - all the time. Obviously, there are days like that...but to do it all the time, is deadly.

On several occasions I have given you some pretty good ideas on ways to spice things up and improve your Wow Factor. But this one may be the best yet.

Serve....together. Albert Einstein said “The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.” Find a food bank or homeless shelter in your community and lend a hand. But do it together. Sign up with Habitat For Humanity and go build houses together on weekends. Or find some other worthy charity that needs your help, and go serve.

The experience of helping others as a couple (or even the whole family) will bring you closer together. You will make a lasting impression on some one's life, and it will have been done as a team. What a great legacy!

Stay in touch -

Mark

Relationship SOS - Part 2

Continuing with yesterday's topic - here are some tips to help recover your relationship or, if done early, prevent your relationship from falling apart.

- Focus on your partner's qualities. Pay particular attention to the things that made you fall in love with her. I understand that people change over time, but rarely is it such a drastic transformation that you can't find that person in there somewhere. This will help you be more positive towards her.

- Tell her about it. When you focus on her qualities, mention them to her. "I love how you handle the kids", "you really make me smile", "I love it when you do your hair like that". Focus on the positive things and tell her. But if your relationship is in trouble, don't expect this 'lip service' to make her melt. Don't worry about her reaction to your comments. Just keep making them.

- Watch the negativity. It isn't your job to correct her when she says something wrong. Don't be a nag. Negative comments chip away at the relationship.

The next 3 are really important!

- Help! Love the Beatles reference. Help her any way you can. If she is busy doing chores, get up and do them with her. If something is broken, fix it - stop putting it off. Oh...and don't just do this for a day or two and expect it to solve the problems. This should become part of your routine, part of your relationship. Too much work you say? Then get ready to be single.

- Touch her. Hold her hand when you're walking or riding somewhere together. Touch her back as you walk by. Kiss her good morning, goodbye and hello. If your relationship is on the rocks, she make feel like you are just after sex. Don't press it. These touches are just affirmation of your affection.

- Make time to be together and listen. I don't mean 2 hours every night watching TV. That isn't quality time. Do things together and listen to what she says. Listen to her. Respond to what she says. If she says her feet are sore from being on them all day, offer to rub her feet. If she says her day is hectic, offer to help with something.

Guys, if your relationship is in trouble, it didn't happen over night. Likewise, it isn't going to be fixed over night. Stay the course and stick with this plan. Tweak it here and there once you see what really works in your relationship.

If your relationship is fine, do these things anyhow - and increase the wow factor!

Stay in touch -

Mark

Everybody Loves a Quickie

So, here are 10 'quickies' for a Monday -

1. Avoid ruts. Spice things up once in a while.
2. Touching is good. Caresses, hugs and grabs show your affection.
3. Treasure your relationship. You never know how many days you have together. Treasure them.
4. Be a good partner. Pitch in and help, be supportive of her goals, build up,
don't tear down your relationship.
5. Have some class. Watch your language and topics of conversation when out in public.
6. Abuse and cheating is wrong period. End of discussion.
7. Look the part. Dress appropriately. It's better to go somewhere slightly overdressed, than looking like a bum.
8. Work at it. If she criticizes certain things, take it constructively and work on it.
9. Be thoughtful and considerate. Think - period.
10. Say "I Love You". Anywhere, anytime. I don't care who's around. Say it.

I hope you can absorb all of this. These 10 'quickies' can change your relationship!

Stay in touch -

Mark

Putting it in Action

I have provided quite a few ideas for Valentine's Day and romantic nights over the past several weeks, and this weekend I put many of them in action as we celebrated Valentine's Day.

My wife had to work on Saturday. That gave me the opportunity to get everything organized. I picked her up from work and took her to a nice romantic dinner. After dinner we went home where I had a dozen long stemmed red roses, her card and some chocolates. I also had the ingredients ready for chocolate covered strawberries. They didn't turn out like the pictures I saw online, but they were still very good and we had fun making them.

While we were making the strawberries I ran a bubble bath and lit the candles around the tub. I had put champagne on ice and had the champagne glasses from our wedding waiting there too.

Chocolate covered strawberries with champagne, candles and a hot bubble bath was a perfect after dinner treat. Then we watched a romantic comedy in our bedroom. After the movie I told her that I needed her to pack a bag for an overnight trip, but I didn't tell her where we were going.

We were headed someplace cold, and I had pre-packed long johns, hats and gloves just to make sure she had everything she needed. The next morning we hit the road early and about an hour into the drive I let her in on the secret.

So, I combined date night with several romantic ideas and a weekend getaway to make for a fantastic Valentine's Day - without breaking the bank. We had a blast, and laughed all weekend.

I caught her just staring at me several times this weekend. (She loves me).
And she loved her Valentine's Day.

Stay in touch -

Mark

7 Word Love Letters

I want to share something that we've been doing in our home for a few weeks now. Earlier this month, I started a 7 word love letter chain between my wife and I. It is very simple and easy. Here's how it works.

Take a note pad or writing tablet and alternate your name and hers down the left hand side. Then, you write her a SEVEN WORD love note. At some point over the next day or two, she'll respond. You repeat this until your spaces are filled.

There is only one real rule to this. Your message must be 7 words. Not 6, not 8. It makes you choose your words very carefully, and makes you think about what you want to say. Several times over the past few weeks my wife has caught me "counting words", as I'm trying to get right to the point with my message.

We've had fun with it - and have communicated some really nice thoughts.

I'll give you one to get you started...then it's up to you.
I started mine off with "I am really happy I married you."
Now - off you go.

Stay in touch -

Mark

Why Didn't I Think of That?

Sometimes, the song says it all. This one is from Doug Stone - Why Didn't I Think of That?

"He sends her roses and lines he composes, things a lady loves.
Well he's there to hold her when she needs a shoulder, if life gets too rough.
Oh now that she's left
I keep kicking myself whenever
I start thinking back
He says he needs her,
tells her he loves her,
why didn't i think of that?

Ooh I've been watching
every move that he makes
ooh I've been thinking,
it could have been different somehow
If I'd know what I know now."


Men - it could be time for an evaluation. Before it's too late.
Is there something that you'd do differently if you had the chance to do it again?
Then do it NOW!

Take a minute - think about it. What have you done in the past week to show her how you feel? What have you done to make her smile? Instead of someday wondering "why you didn't think of that" - think of it now. What can you do better?

Stay in touch -

Mark

Reaching Out to the Men

I was talking with friends recently about how to get men's attention on this topic. Women are very receptive to the blog and to this conversation, but I want to reach out to the guys - to help them increase the wow factor. I want to help make other men look good in their relationships.

But, during the conversation, the topic came up - is it possible to motivate men to understand why it's important to "wow" your woman? I've come up with four points (so far) - describing various reasons why men need to pay attention to this topic (and ideally, this blog).

1. Whether you realize it or not men, these things are very important to your lady. Even though you may not understand why, just please understand that being a good partner is a major part of your job description. I'm not sure that most men really understand what that entails, so - I'm here to help.

2. Making her happy, ultimately makes you happy. Maybe you've heard the saying "If mama ain't happy - ain't nobody happy." Maybe things aren't to that point yet, but if you've ever lived in a house where "mama ain't happy", trust me - it isn't a good place to be. Putting smiles on her face, will put them or yours too.

3. The alternative is expensive, emotionally draining and extremely disruptive. (See the post Men Love (Most) Stats). Going through a divorce or break-up is no day at the beach. On average, it takes a man 5 years to get on his feet financially after a divorce. Emotionally, you lose. Financially, you lose.

4. Trust me, there is no shortage of men out there (in close proximity) who are willing to give her want she wants - if you won't or can't. I would venture to say that women cheat as much (if not more) for the emotional needs (her desire to be held, romanced, wanted) as for the sexual gratification. Whatever she's missing at home, if you can't (or won't) provide it - it raises the risk of her finding it somewhere else.

Please pass this along to men that you think could benefit from reading this blog - and learning more about how to increase the WOW FACTOR, in their relationship.

Stay in touch

Mark

But the Sign Said "Employees"

It's a nice restaurant. It's a nice meal. Two couples out for a night on the town. One of the husbands needs to use the restroom. When he comes back, the wife playfully asks "did you wash your hands?" "No...I didn't have to, the sign in the restroom said "Employees"." The wife dies a little inside.

Why? She's embarrassed in front of her female friend. (Hint: That's really bad).
Now, I understand that this is a silly example. But it's a good way to describe how expectations are different between men and women. And frankly guys, we need to be thinking more about meeting her expectations. In many cases, women's standards are higher. And we could stand to reach a little higher ourselves.

Every one's home is different, so it's a little difficult for me to sit here in my office and tell other men exactly what expectations they should be shooting for. But I can give you a tip that will help you figure it out:

Pay attention to how she likes things. Then work towards that, as a goal.

Some simple, easy examples are:
She likes the dirty clothes to be in the hamper.
She likes the dirty dishes to be put right in the dishwasher.
When the dishwasher is full of clean dishes, empty it.
If you make a mess in the house, clean it up.
If you use it, put it away.

Here's a perfect example from my own life:
I was putting some clean shirts away, taking them from the laundry room to the closet upstairs. I got upstairs and remembered that my wife asked that those hangers stay in the laundry room, so she has something to hang clean shirts on.
If I just hung up the shirts, I'd be increasing her work effort next time she did the laundry. (Bad).

This is really nothing more than common sense...and common courtesy. But things like this are often overlooked - adding the stress of the lady of the house.
When you add to her stress, you decrease the wow factor in the relationship. When you reduce her stress, your wow factor soars.

Oh, and when you increase your wow factor, she'll tell her female fried what a great guy you are. (Hint: That's really good).

Stay in touch -

Mark

Better Lover Tip: Foreplay in the Kitchen

Guys I'm going to give you a tip that will go a long way in helping increase the "wow factor" in your relationship.
You want to turn on your woman?
Help in the kitchen.

What!?
Yeah - seriously dude - help in the kitchen. I'll paint you the picture.

Help cook dinner. Chop stuff, fry something, get the plates out - whatever.
What you do doesn't really matter as much as being there and actively participating.

Talk. Laugh. Touch. Kiss. Listen to music. Grab her and dance for a few seconds.
When you need something reach across her and touch her suggestively. (Quick subtle touches...almost like you're sneaking or teasing).

When you walk by her, run your hand across her back or shoulders.

You don't have to be a great cook to do this. Just be engaged in the process. Trust me, she will LOVE IT!

You'll have a great dinner. (Don't forget to help clean up afterwards).
Then...let the sparks fly.

Let me know how it works out.

Stay in touch -

Mark