She's self conscious...sometimes.

Men, here's a quote that you'll want to remember:

"Women are innately self-conscious. This is not a choice; it's a genderwide condition. On a bad day, I look in the mirror and see my ten-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Bertha. On a really bad day, Bertha sees her two-hundred-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Brian Dennehy." -- Alyssa Milano

It's one thing to understand that your wife/partner/girlfriend is self conscious. But it's an entirely different thing to understand what that means.

Being self conscious means that she is very self aware. In a best case scenario this would mean that she is balanced in a healthy way and is acutely aware of both her good and bad characteristics. In a less than best case scenario - the bad will out weigh the good (in her mind) and shyness or various insecurities and confidence issues will emerge.

This is the underlying emotion behind the question - 'Does this make me look fat'?

But here's where it gets tricky. Most women are only self conscious some of the time. You'll notice in Alyssa Milano's quote the terms "bad days" and "really bad days". You need to be perceptive enough to pick up on those self conscious moments, and know how to react.

How to pick up on it:
Besides the "does this make me look fat" question - which is a dead give away, you can tell that she's feeling self conscious during the multiple change of clothes episode - where she's tried on 15 different tops. Or when she says "I don't have anything to wear", extra primping in the bathroom, repetitive questions about her looks, or if you find her fishing for compliments.

The key here is that you are paying attention to her and can pick up on the situation. Key number two is reacting properly.

Let's let that sink in for now, and I'll give you some thoughts on how to react tomorrow.

Stay in touch -

Mark