Baggage

Have you seen the latest Jerry Springer led show? It's on the Game Show Network and it's called "Baggage". The concept of the show is that there are 3 contestants, each with 3 secrets that get revealed throughout the show.

"I stole my grandmother's credit card."
"I cheated on my girlfriend...with her sister."
"I laugh like a hyena when I drink."

Some, as you can see, are silly. Others are really problematic.

As they go through the game, contestants are eliminated until one remains. Then, the person looking for a partner reveals his or her own secret, and the person who stole from their grandmother has to decide if they can live with the other person's baggage. If so, they get to go on an expense paid date and presumably start a baggage filled life together. If not, you pretty much just wasted a half hour of your life.

It's like watching a train wreck.

But it's also representative of why relationships fail. The difference is - instead of your baggage being revealed all at once - it accumulates throughout the course of the relationship.

"You never listen when I have a problem."
"You are more interested in things than you are in me."
"We never do anything together."
"I can't talk to you any more."

And the baggage accumulates, and one of you decides you can't carry it all any more. And the train wreck starts to hit home.

The key to not having this happen is to break the negative cycle.
LISTEN! If you are told things like "you never..." or "you always...", you need to get serious about this and honestly and objectively think it through. Is there a chance she's right and you "always do..." or "never do..."? Even if the words 'always' and 'never' aren't 100% accurate, take the message to heart and break the cycle. Keep the train on the tracks.

Stay in touch -

Mark