Every once in a while I scan the relationship forums to find out what people think. Sometimes it's like reading an episode of Jerry Springer. But sometimes there is a a topic worth noting. Here's one I found yesterday, that I thought was interesting.
A woman writes that her boyfriend never tells her that he loves her. She says "He used to tell me he loved me all the time, but now he doesn't say it unless I say it first. I have cried to him about it twice and he says that he does love me but that he "doesn't think about it" because he has been really stressed for the past month."
One of the people that replied to her post (a guy) said that she was adding stress to him by complaining that he never says it. Really? Give me a break.
What are the problems here?
First, the fact that he "doesn't think about it" is a problem. How can you be in a relationship and not think about how you feel about the other person. It would be like waking up in the morning and saying "I'm so completely indifferent to you."
Second, he's stressed from school. If he can't remember to tell her that he loves her while he's in school, what will it be like when the pressures of real life crash in on his little world?
Finally, if he isn't focused enough on her to say I love you - he certainly isn't going to rock her world. And forget about him going out of his way to do things for her, surprise her and treat her right.
Baby boy needs to grow up, suck it up and remember - if someone means something to you, tell them. Say it, and mean it.
Stay in touch -
Mark
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