Drifting....

Just as a follow up on yesterday's comment about relationships drifting...

What's dangerous about this is, it's so subtle. If you take a look at your relationship now, how is it different than a year ago?

What I mean is - how different are you and your partner in your interaction with each other? Do you laugh as often? Do you have as much sex? What is your communication level like? What about your activities...are you stuck in a rut?

Often what happens is a slight modification of one behaviour, then (over time) that new pattern becomes normal. Then another...and another. And before long, you don't do anything together, hardly speak to each other and if you're not careful you are simply room mates sharing a space. Your activities become predictable and you are a different couple, a different entity than you used to be.

I hear you. "Oh that isn't us." Okay good. If so, fantastic. But rather than fluffing it off - take a look at it. Do you touch each other like you used to or only when sex is on the agenda? Are your conversations deteriorating or are they open and engaged? Are you snapping at each other or still patient?

One last thing, then I'm off. What about things you don't say out loud? Do you find yourself rolling your eyes when she's not looking or grumbling under your breath at things she says? Are you less patient with her mistakes? These things (and others) are underlying things that will begin to affect your patterns. They lead to drifting.

Stay in touch -

Mark