"It's my way or the highway"!
"If you don't
Simply put - ultimatums suck. I was in a relationship where the ultimatum was (believe it or not) the primary form of negotiation. Seriously. Note the key word from that sentence "was". That relationship is history.
So what's the big deal? What's wrong with an ultimatum?
First, an ultimatum is basically nothing more than manipulation. I'll do more on manipulation in the future, but this is NOT the path to a healthy relationship. In fact, manipulation is abusive.
Ultimatums are aggressive. Now I understand that sometimes you reach a point in a relationship where you need to have a "come to Jesus" discussion and get everything out on the table. But when ultimatums are a part of your regular routine, it isn't conducive to a loving relationship.
Ultimatums are obnoxious and add pressure to an already difficult situation. This escalates the tension rather than working towards a resolution.
Finally, even if you get what you want through this manipulation technique, the resentment factor of your partner has to be considered. This opens the door for retaliation and then the ultimatums become commonplace in your relationship.
I didn't mean to go all Dr. Phil on you - but ultimatums are not healthy.
Stay in touch -
Mark
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