For some, their marriage is a raging fire of intimacy, and for others it's a smoldering mess. For some men - starting the fires of intimacy is like taking a flame thrower to a bunch of dried sticks, and for others is like rubbing two sticks together and hoping for a spark.
Do marriages without intimacy last longer? No...they just SEEM longer.
So what does it take to generate the spark? What are some things you can do to increase intimacy in your relationship?
1. Post it notes. I've talked about this before, but leave a post it note in a few unusual places (on the fridge, on her side of the mirror in the bathroom, on her steering wheel). The notes can say "I love you", "I can't wait to hold you" or a million other things. What they can't say is "don't forget to pick up the dry cleaning."
2. Make a CD or playlist of your favorite songs. These can be songs from your past, songs you've heard on special occasions, etc. A variation on this is to make a playlist of romantic songs that can be played during a nice quiet dinner or intimate time alone.
3. Dance. What!?!? Yup. Grab her in the kitchen (or where ever) and dance to one of those romantic songs. If you're really outgoing, grab her and dance when no music is playing and sing. (No, I haven't lost my mind).
4. Flowers. Cliche? Yes. Effective? Yes. Don't stop at the gas station and pick up some cheap ones. Go to a florist and do it right!
5. Text her randomly with sexy or thoughtful messages. "I can't wait until I get home to show you how much I love you." "I'm thinking about you", etc.
6. Hold hands and touch. This is really important. Hold hands when you're out walking or sitting in the car. Touch each other - and not just when sex is on the agenda. Express affection through touching.
Here's a HUGE tip. We're after a sustained increase in intimacy here, not a flash in the pan. Incorporate these things, and more, into your relationship on a regular basis, and watch the sparks fly!
Stay in touch -
Mark
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