Baggage

Have you seen the latest Jerry Springer led show? It's on the Game Show Network and it's called "Baggage". The concept of the show is that there are 3 contestants, each with 3 secrets that get revealed throughout the show.

"I stole my grandmother's credit card."
"I cheated on my girlfriend...with her sister."
"I laugh like a hyena when I drink."

Some, as you can see, are silly. Others are really problematic.

As they go through the game, contestants are eliminated until one remains. Then, the person looking for a partner reveals his or her own secret, and the person who stole from their grandmother has to decide if they can live with the other person's baggage. If so, they get to go on an expense paid date and presumably start a baggage filled life together. If not, you pretty much just wasted a half hour of your life.

It's like watching a train wreck.

But it's also representative of why relationships fail. The difference is - instead of your baggage being revealed all at once - it accumulates throughout the course of the relationship.

"You never listen when I have a problem."
"You are more interested in things than you are in me."
"We never do anything together."
"I can't talk to you any more."

And the baggage accumulates, and one of you decides you can't carry it all any more. And the train wreck starts to hit home.

The key to not having this happen is to break the negative cycle.
LISTEN! If you are told things like "you never..." or "you always...", you need to get serious about this and honestly and objectively think it through. Is there a chance she's right and you "always do..." or "never do..."? Even if the words 'always' and 'never' aren't 100% accurate, take the message to heart and break the cycle. Keep the train on the tracks.

Stay in touch -

Mark

5 Ways to Turn Her On!

I originally called this Romantic Ideas, but honestly, I didn't want to scare anyone away. So - let's forget about calling it romance for now. Let's just say here are 5 ways you can turn her on. Go for it.

1. Make a love song music mix CD and take into the bedroom. Go old school with "Let's Get it On" (Marvin Gaye) and "Kiss you All Over" (Exile). "No Ordinary Love" (Sade) is also a good one. If you don't have the means or the skills to make a CD, go buy one.

2. Get some massage oil and offer her a romantic massage. Set this up ahead of time. Clear the schedule to avoid interruptions. Run her a nice bath, give her a nice relaxing soak time and finish it off with a slow full body massage. Yes, sir - I said full body. You're welcome.

3. Get some foot cream and offer to massage her feet after a rough day. Sorry, just the feet. Help her relax and unwind, she'll appreciate it.

4. Dance. What?! Yup, put on that nice CD you made or bought and dim the lights and slow dance, just the two of you.

5. Surprise her with date night. Pick two or three of her favorite things and arrange a night out. Start with dinner or drinks at a place she likes, go to a show, shopping or whatever else she enjoys. Remember how you tried to impress her back when you were trying to get laid? Yeah....like that.

Let me know how it goes.

Stay in touch -

Mark

What Men Can Learn About Sex....From Brett Favre

Clearly not all of Brett Favre's passes are completions. And, in this case, it appears some got intercepted. So now we've been hearing about big Brett trying to seduce a member of the NY Jets media team, by sending her texts and pictures of little Brett. Let's just say, some things are better left to the imagination. His success as a quarterback is attributed to his arm, not necessarily other parts of his body and by that I mean - his brain.

So what can we "mere mortals" learn from this? A few things:

1. Don't be an idiot. You got the hots for someone at work (and you're married or in a relationship), leave it alone. Don't leave repetitive phone messages and what ever you do, don't pull out Mr Happy and snap pictures of it. Here's a good rule: NEVER send pictures of "yourself" to a woman...especially unsolicited.

2. No matter who you are, no means no. It doesn't seem like Brett physically forced himself on anyone (other than the unsolicited pics), but just because you have a high opinion of yourself, doesn't mean everyone else does.

3. Home is still the priority. If little Brett was lonely, maybe - I don't know - this is crazy - Mrs. Favre could have come by the hotel? Focus on fulfilling your sexual role at home - for most, that's a hard enough task to accomplish without going outside for extra-curricular activity.

Here's the good news about this story. Now I've found something that annoys me about Brett Favre more than his waffling back and forth about retiring. Brett should retire as a auto-photographer, that's for sure.

Stay in touch -

Mark

What Men Can Learn About Sex....from NASCAR?

I know men, we don't like to admit that there is ANYTHING we could learn about sex. But what's the point of good sex anyhow? To create a loving and satisfying experience for BOTH of you. If you're good at it, you will please HER first.

So what does this have to do with NASCAR? Several things:

1. Dale Jr, (in the 88 Amp Energy Drink Chevy Impala) should be our model, our hero when it comes to sex. Why? He hardly ever finishes first.
2. Pit stops should last more than 12 seconds.
3. Following too close is a good thing. :)
4. Two across down the straight away is ok, going 3 wide is dangerous.
5. Like NASCAR, doing the same thing over and over is boring. Spice things up a little.
6. Protective gear is important! Wear a "helmet". The fire suit is over the top.

Get the point? Treat her right and focus on her needs and be a hero in the bedroom.

I'm so glad I didn't need a Dick Trickle reference. (He's a retired NASCAR driver).

Stay in touch -

Mark

Pants and Panties

A couple had just returned home from their honeymoon when the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and says "honey, try these on." She takes one look at his pants and her small frame and says "sweetie, there is no way I could wear your pants."

"Good" he replied, "Always remember that. I wear the pants in this family."

The wife then tossed him her panties and asked him to try them on.
"Ha!" he laughed. "There's no way I can get into your panties."
"Right" she replied, "and it will stay that way if you don't lose your attitude!"

Happy Friday everybody.

Stay in touch -

Mark

Best Laid Plans

A final serious thought about the wedding.

Weddings obviously mark the beginning of a life that is intended to last "'til death do us part." But statistically, around half of the marriages don't last. The reasons are countless. Countless too, are the emotions you can observe at different stages of the wedding and reception.

The father of bride walks his "little girl" down the isle. The mother of the bride stresses over....just about everything. Many of the guys can't wait for the service to be over, so we can get to the open bar. The girls at the wedding are soaking it all in - either dreaming of their day, or remembering what is was like for them.

Which brings me to the point of today's blog. During the groom's speech, he was talking about how in love he was, how happy she makes him and how he will love her forever. I looked around the room and saw one woman crying. She had heard those words too, at her wedding not long before. Except now, she's at this wedding alone, while her ex-husband is out goofing off with another woman.

What happened? It's only been a couple of years.
I remember how happy I was.
We had such a good thing going, what went wrong?

If you don't take anything else with you from what I write, take this.
Marriage is hard work and it IS NOT based on emotion. Go back to Monday's post about love being a choice. We must work at this and choose to make it work.

I'm writing a book on relationships for men. There are tons of tips and things that you can do to sweep your woman off her feet. But ultimately, it comes down to you and her making a decision to make it work. And in the end, it's worth it.

Stay in touch -

Mark

A Pinky Swear

This past weekend, prior to the wedding, my wife and I had dinner with great friends of ours. They were telling us about some plans that they have, and how they are going about reaching their goals.

They have agreed on a "two year window" to accomplish something significant. This is something that would affect their whole family, and they are focused on getting this done. Their commitment to each other was: A pinky swear.

I love this.

There are several excellent relationship things here. First, they agreed on a common goal. They set a reasonable time frame to reach the goal. And they pinky swore. Who doesn't love a good pinky swear? It's simple, cute and is something they specifically remember doing in a commitment to one another on this goal.

One of the key things I want to touch on about this is their two year window. Windows, or time frames for getting things done, are interesting. If you make them too short, you will find yourself under extreme pressure to reach your goal. But if you make it too long, it becomes easily forgotten. In this case, for this goal, they nailed it.

Here is a perfect example of a couple agreeing on goals, setting reasonable timing and sealing the commitment with a solemn pinky swear.

Stay in touch -

Mark