A man comes in from running errands and finds his wife hunched over a short mop with only an 18" handle, trying to clean the kitchen floor.
"What are you doing"? he asked. "You look ridiculous."
"You could stand there and criticize me, or you could go to the store and by me a mop with a proper handle" she snapped. "I could do that" he said "or I could just do this - " as he took the mop from her and pulled out the telescoping handle to make it full length.
"Oh that's great" she said. "too bad your penis doesn't do that."
"Maybe it does" was his reply. "Maybe you don't know how to use that either!"
Have a great weekend,
Stay in touch -
Mark
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Good Sex
Our sex week continues...
We've talked about frequency and duration of sex - now let's talk about quality.
Sex is like tennis. It's a lot more fun when both people playing are at the same skill level.
In simple terms, sex is good when both people are satisfied. It's not just about you guys, it's about pleasing her and letter her please you. Here are 5 ways to improve your sex life:
1. Communicate. Talk to each other about what makes you hot, and what you don't like. Talk about how long it lasts, what you do, where you do it and how you do it. Talk about it between times when you're having sex and during sex. Cue the music: Let's Talk About Sex. Hint: Don't talk about sex right after sex. This isn't a performance review.
2. Give yourself time. When you're having sex, don't rush. You don't have to jump right to it. Explore, massage, kiss. Foreplay is like Nike - Just Do It.
3. Add some variety. Don't always do the same things, in the same order. Change it up a little. Have one session where it's everything but intercourse. Try some new positions, toys, etc.
4. Exercise. Your overall physical stamina will impact your stamina in the bedroom.
5. Cut loose. Use fantasies or "talking dirty" so that sometimes it's just raunchy sex. But then understand guys, sometimes you are making love, sometimes you are having sex and THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.
I hope this helps.
Stay in touch -
Mark
We've talked about frequency and duration of sex - now let's talk about quality.
Sex is like tennis. It's a lot more fun when both people playing are at the same skill level.
In simple terms, sex is good when both people are satisfied. It's not just about you guys, it's about pleasing her and letter her please you. Here are 5 ways to improve your sex life:
1. Communicate. Talk to each other about what makes you hot, and what you don't like. Talk about how long it lasts, what you do, where you do it and how you do it. Talk about it between times when you're having sex and during sex. Cue the music: Let's Talk About Sex. Hint: Don't talk about sex right after sex. This isn't a performance review.
2. Give yourself time. When you're having sex, don't rush. You don't have to jump right to it. Explore, massage, kiss. Foreplay is like Nike - Just Do It.
3. Add some variety. Don't always do the same things, in the same order. Change it up a little. Have one session where it's everything but intercourse. Try some new positions, toys, etc.
4. Exercise. Your overall physical stamina will impact your stamina in the bedroom.
5. Cut loose. Use fantasies or "talking dirty" so that sometimes it's just raunchy sex. But then understand guys, sometimes you are making love, sometimes you are having sex and THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.
I hope this helps.
Stay in touch -
Mark
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Why Aren't You Having Sex?
This week's blog has been all about sex. It reminds me of a Rodney Dangerfield line: "Sex, sex, sex - everywhere you turn it's sex, sex, sex. I've had it. Not lately though."
So - why not?
The statistics we shared say that on average people are doing it approximately 2 to 4 times a week for ideally around 10 to 13 minutes (of actual intercourse time). If you are in a relationship and you aren't in this range, what's up? Here are a few common reasons people aren't wearing out the sheets:
1. You're too busy / tired. I get it. Life sometimes gets hectic. Between the kids, the job, soccer, hockey, dance, swimming, gymnastics, going to the gym, cleaning, you name it - you simply don't have the energy for fun in the sack. By the end of the day you're beat. So, shoot for earlier in the day, when you still have some energy. Try to work your schedule around sex for a little while. Plan some time for you, it's really important.
2. You don't like your body. Many woman (and men too if we would admit it) will withdrawal sexually if they feel uncomfortable naked. What they don't understand is, as guys - it doesn't bother us. We need to work hard to make sure they understand that they don't have to look like a super model to be hot.
3. Your bed isn't "sexy". Beds used to be for sex and sleeping. Now we bring our laptops to bed, our PDA's and it's just an extension of the office or the rest of the house. Make the bed a demilitarized zone, keep it for just the two of you.
4. Problems in the relationship. I know a guy who was married almost 20 years. His last year of marriage, he and his wife has sex ONCE in that entire year. If you're constantly being turned down in bed, you may need to find out what the underlying problem is. It could be she's getting it somewhere else or is now really turned off by the idea of getting with you. Find out why.
There are lots of other reasons why people don't have sex as often as they used to. Let's focus on making the most of our opportunities, and doing it well.
Stay in touch -
Mark
So - why not?
The statistics we shared say that on average people are doing it approximately 2 to 4 times a week for ideally around 10 to 13 minutes (of actual intercourse time). If you are in a relationship and you aren't in this range, what's up? Here are a few common reasons people aren't wearing out the sheets:
1. You're too busy / tired. I get it. Life sometimes gets hectic. Between the kids, the job, soccer, hockey, dance, swimming, gymnastics, going to the gym, cleaning, you name it - you simply don't have the energy for fun in the sack. By the end of the day you're beat. So, shoot for earlier in the day, when you still have some energy. Try to work your schedule around sex for a little while. Plan some time for you, it's really important.
2. You don't like your body. Many woman (and men too if we would admit it) will withdrawal sexually if they feel uncomfortable naked. What they don't understand is, as guys - it doesn't bother us. We need to work hard to make sure they understand that they don't have to look like a super model to be hot.
3. Your bed isn't "sexy". Beds used to be for sex and sleeping. Now we bring our laptops to bed, our PDA's and it's just an extension of the office or the rest of the house. Make the bed a demilitarized zone, keep it for just the two of you.
4. Problems in the relationship. I know a guy who was married almost 20 years. His last year of marriage, he and his wife has sex ONCE in that entire year. If you're constantly being turned down in bed, you may need to find out what the underlying problem is. It could be she's getting it somewhere else or is now really turned off by the idea of getting with you. Find out why.
There are lots of other reasons why people don't have sex as often as they used to. Let's focus on making the most of our opportunities, and doing it well.
Stay in touch -
Mark
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Normal Sex Duration
Well, it's apparently sex week on the blog.
These results may surprise you. They did me.
Penn State Erie researchers Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani conducted a survey of 50 full members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, which include psychologists, physicians, social workers, marriage/family therapists and nurses who have collectively seen thousands of patients over several decades.
The group rated a range of time amounts for sexual intercourse,that they considered adequate, desirable, too short and too long. These times pertain to actual intercourse, not including foreplay or anything else.
The average therapists' responses defined the ranges of intercourse activity times: "adequate," from 3-7 minutes; "desirable," from 7-13 minutes; "too short" from 1-2 minutes; and "too long" from 10-30 minutes. Past research has found that a large percentage of men and women, who responded, wanted sex to last 30 minutes or longer.
But here's the thing. The amount of time spent becomes less important if both you and your partner are completely satisfied by the time it's over. Several sex therapists recommend that you don't even pay attention to how long you spend in the bedroom. It's the Nike approach to sex - just do it. I have to laugh at the term "adequate". I can just picture it now. Sex is over, your wife turns to you and says "well, that was adequate." Yay.
But I'm here to encourage men to improve their relationships, so let me say this.
Time matters in this regard: If you didn't last long enough to satisfy your woman, then you didn't last long enough. If, when you make the bed again, she's happy - then odds are, it lasted long enough.
One last thought - talk about it together. She will have very specific thoughts on the subject. Be ready for some frank and honest talk if you bring it up.
Stay in touch -
Mark
These results may surprise you. They did me.
Penn State Erie researchers Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani conducted a survey of 50 full members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, which include psychologists, physicians, social workers, marriage/family therapists and nurses who have collectively seen thousands of patients over several decades.
The group rated a range of time amounts for sexual intercourse,that they considered adequate, desirable, too short and too long. These times pertain to actual intercourse, not including foreplay or anything else.
The average therapists' responses defined the ranges of intercourse activity times: "adequate," from 3-7 minutes; "desirable," from 7-13 minutes; "too short" from 1-2 minutes; and "too long" from 10-30 minutes. Past research has found that a large percentage of men and women, who responded, wanted sex to last 30 minutes or longer.
But here's the thing. The amount of time spent becomes less important if both you and your partner are completely satisfied by the time it's over. Several sex therapists recommend that you don't even pay attention to how long you spend in the bedroom. It's the Nike approach to sex - just do it. I have to laugh at the term "adequate". I can just picture it now. Sex is over, your wife turns to you and says "well, that was adequate." Yay.
But I'm here to encourage men to improve their relationships, so let me say this.
Time matters in this regard: If you didn't last long enough to satisfy your woman, then you didn't last long enough. If, when you make the bed again, she's happy - then odds are, it lasted long enough.
One last thought - talk about it together. She will have very specific thoughts on the subject. Be ready for some frank and honest talk if you bring it up.
Stay in touch -
Mark
Monday, October 25, 2010
Are You Keeping "Up" with the Joneses Sexually?
Here are some interesting statistics about sex frequency. You can use this to see how you measure up.
ha, see what I did there? measure...awww forget it.
According to The Chopra Center (Deepak Chopra's wellness site) here's how frequently people you know are getting it on - on average:
When it comes to sex, the only rule is that both partners are willing and enthusiastic participants. It is not uncommon for a man’s sex drive to be stronger than a woman’s, due to both social conditioning and hormones.
In studies on sexual frequency...here are some averages.
Sixteen to twenty years olds have sex on average 3.7 times per week.
Between twenty-one and twenty-five years of age, three times a week is average.
Between twenty-six and thirty, 2.6 times per week is the norm.
Between thirty-one and thirty-five, the frequency drops to 2.3
By forty years of age, couples are having sex twice a week on average.
Duration of the relationship also plays a part. Studies show that the longer you've been together, the less often you do it.
Here's a key point: If you fall into or near this range of sexual activity. You should focus on quality, rather than worrying about quantity.
But several questions remain:
1. How long are people having sex?
2. Reasons for not having sex this often?
3. What do I mean by quality?
Hmm...sounds like we'll have some stuff to talk about this week.
Stay in touch -
Mark
ha, see what I did there? measure...awww forget it.
According to The Chopra Center (Deepak Chopra's wellness site) here's how frequently people you know are getting it on - on average:
When it comes to sex, the only rule is that both partners are willing and enthusiastic participants. It is not uncommon for a man’s sex drive to be stronger than a woman’s, due to both social conditioning and hormones.
In studies on sexual frequency...here are some averages.
Sixteen to twenty years olds have sex on average 3.7 times per week.
Between twenty-one and twenty-five years of age, three times a week is average.
Between twenty-six and thirty, 2.6 times per week is the norm.
Between thirty-one and thirty-five, the frequency drops to 2.3
By forty years of age, couples are having sex twice a week on average.
Duration of the relationship also plays a part. Studies show that the longer you've been together, the less often you do it.
Here's a key point: If you fall into or near this range of sexual activity. You should focus on quality, rather than worrying about quantity.
But several questions remain:
1. How long are people having sex?
2. Reasons for not having sex this often?
3. What do I mean by quality?
Hmm...sounds like we'll have some stuff to talk about this week.
Stay in touch -
Mark
Friday, October 22, 2010
After the Office Party
Henry woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.
After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.
"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."
"He's a jerk," Henry said. "Piss on him."
"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."
"Well, screw him!" said Henry.
"I did." Louise said. "You're back at work on Monday."
Enjoy the weekend.
Stay in touch -
Mark
After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.
"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."
"He's a jerk," Henry said. "Piss on him."
"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."
"Well, screw him!" said Henry.
"I did." Louise said. "You're back at work on Monday."
Enjoy the weekend.
Stay in touch -
Mark
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Baggage
Have you seen the latest Jerry Springer led show? It's on the Game Show Network and it's called "Baggage". The concept of the show is that there are 3 contestants, each with 3 secrets that get revealed throughout the show.
"I stole my grandmother's credit card."
"I cheated on my girlfriend...with her sister."
"I laugh like a hyena when I drink."
Some, as you can see, are silly. Others are really problematic.
As they go through the game, contestants are eliminated until one remains. Then, the person looking for a partner reveals his or her own secret, and the person who stole from their grandmother has to decide if they can live with the other person's baggage. If so, they get to go on an expense paid date and presumably start a baggage filled life together. If not, you pretty much just wasted a half hour of your life.
It's like watching a train wreck.
But it's also representative of why relationships fail. The difference is - instead of your baggage being revealed all at once - it accumulates throughout the course of the relationship.
"You never listen when I have a problem."
"You are more interested in things than you are in me."
"We never do anything together."
"I can't talk to you any more."
And the baggage accumulates, and one of you decides you can't carry it all any more. And the train wreck starts to hit home.
The key to not having this happen is to break the negative cycle.
LISTEN! If you are told things like "you never..." or "you always...", you need to get serious about this and honestly and objectively think it through. Is there a chance she's right and you "always do..." or "never do..."? Even if the words 'always' and 'never' aren't 100% accurate, take the message to heart and break the cycle. Keep the train on the tracks.
Stay in touch -
Mark
"I stole my grandmother's credit card."
"I cheated on my girlfriend...with her sister."
"I laugh like a hyena when I drink."
Some, as you can see, are silly. Others are really problematic.
As they go through the game, contestants are eliminated until one remains. Then, the person looking for a partner reveals his or her own secret, and the person who stole from their grandmother has to decide if they can live with the other person's baggage. If so, they get to go on an expense paid date and presumably start a baggage filled life together. If not, you pretty much just wasted a half hour of your life.
It's like watching a train wreck.
But it's also representative of why relationships fail. The difference is - instead of your baggage being revealed all at once - it accumulates throughout the course of the relationship.
"You never listen when I have a problem."
"You are more interested in things than you are in me."
"We never do anything together."
"I can't talk to you any more."
And the baggage accumulates, and one of you decides you can't carry it all any more. And the train wreck starts to hit home.
The key to not having this happen is to break the negative cycle.
LISTEN! If you are told things like "you never..." or "you always...", you need to get serious about this and honestly and objectively think it through. Is there a chance she's right and you "always do..." or "never do..."? Even if the words 'always' and 'never' aren't 100% accurate, take the message to heart and break the cycle. Keep the train on the tracks.
Stay in touch -
Mark
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