Work / Life Balance

This is one of those new phrases that has come on the scene recently, but it's a concept that has impacted many a relationship for a long time. It's hard, especially in tough economic times, to have a balance between the time we put in at work and the time we spend at home. And it's not just about the number of hours involved, its about the quality of that time.

As a consultant, I have worked with several companies whose culture is work, work, work. They expect 50 - 70 hours a week from their employees - and the phone rings all night long. To them, this is normal. To me, it's insanity.

I understand the need to work and to be successful on the job. But at what cost? Here are a few signs that you might be out of balance between work and life:

1. You are routinely obsessed about work, thinking about the project, worried about deadlines.
2. You feel guilty for having down time. You feel as if you should be working.
3. You feel your work is the most important thing in your life.
4. All you talk about with your partner is work.
5. You don't pay attention to things around the house, including the kids, your wife and your responsibilities.

Let's clarify a couple of these points.

It's fine to talk about your work. My wife and I share experiences, pressures, difficulties and funny stories from our work. There is nothing wrong with that. But - - - if that's all you can talk about fluently, dude - seriously - you're out of balance.

If you're neglecting things at home, you need to refocus. Neglecting things can be putting off important tasks, being too tired to play with the kids or your wife, being cranky because you're worn out, not being focused while you're home, etc.

It's about balance. Do well at work. But never lose sight of your priorities at home. Don't make your job your #1 priority, because the company cannot return the sentiment. Your wife on the other hand...can.

Stay in touch -

Mark

New Interest Leads to New Focus

I have a friend who is very seriously considering a new job. And it's a good one.
No...a REALLY good one. He's in that period where the other company hasn't offered him the position yet, but he knows it's coming. And he's lost his focus on his current job. He's lost interest and simply doesn't care as much.

I'm not suggesting that friend has done anything wrong by looking for another job - it's perfectly fine. But the same thing happens in our relationships when someone else catches your eye. Maybe you've cheated or are just on the verge of cheating and all you can do is think of that other person. Your focus is diverted from your partner and the entire picture is clouded.

It's clouded because you've put your interest in someone else above your partner. Now, your partner's flaws are magnified. And every positive or attractive thing is diminished.

It's really important to understand that when you're in that "zone" - the picture you are seeing is distorted. It isn't real. Your new interest has just as many flaws (maybe more). Step back and look at it like you were a spectator, and not a participant. Take an objective view and you will see that the grass isn't greener, it's just a different shade of green.

Stay in touch -

Mark