This one goes out to my brother.
When he was a teenager - probably about 15, my brother was walking on a pier, watching a girl. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going. He was paying attention to how she was going.
Splash! He walked right off the pier and into the river! You know that feeling of realizing you missed a step, or if you lean back on your chair and you lean too far? He experienced that feeling...followed immediately by the feeling of a cold, wet river.
And by the way - do you think the girl was impressed? Highly, highly unlikely.
His embarrassment serves a purpose to us today. Don't be distracted by the scenery to the point that you don't know where you're going. You too will be in for a rude awakening.
Stay in touch -
Mark
Showing posts with label distraction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label distraction. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
WMD - Weapons of Mass Distraction
There is no need to fabricate evidence this time! WMD are everywhere, especially this time of year. And while some men will get into trouble just by taking a quick look - I want to focus on the real trouble that distraction can bring to your relationship.
Women can be distracting for sure. Beautiful hair, skin, bodies...everywhere. But when looking stirs emotions, you are heading for trouble.
It's difficult for me to give specific advice on this because everyone is different. Depending on the circumstances you might be able to handle certain distractions better than someone else. So rather than focusing on a list of "rules", let me share a model that works:
1. First and foremost, your allegiance MUST be with your partner. Maybe you think someone at work or school is uber hot and really into you. Deal with it, because your top priority is at home.
2. Avoid putting yourself in situations that have a high probability of leading to trouble. I have a friend who would insist on inviting a third person anytime a guy would ask her to lunch. She was avoiding pitfalls, and even the appearance of anything inappropriate. I'm not saying that 2 people can't go to lunch together - but watch out for slippery slopes.
3. Decline advances. Yeah, it probably boosts your ego - but make sure your ego is the only thing getting boosted. If she comes on to you - see point #1.
4. No excuses. I don't care that things aren't perfect at home or that your partner 'just doesn't understand' you - or whatever excuse you might come up with.
5. Analyze things honestly and don't repeat questionable behavior. Take an honest and objective look at how things are developing. If you can pinpoint certain behaviors that could lead to trouble, stop doing them.
Good rule of thumb: If you are thinking (or fantasizing) about someone you work with during off hours, and it isn't work related, you are distracted. Staying distracted too long can lead to trouble.
Stay in touch -
Mark
Women can be distracting for sure. Beautiful hair, skin, bodies...everywhere. But when looking stirs emotions, you are heading for trouble.
It's difficult for me to give specific advice on this because everyone is different. Depending on the circumstances you might be able to handle certain distractions better than someone else. So rather than focusing on a list of "rules", let me share a model that works:
1. First and foremost, your allegiance MUST be with your partner. Maybe you think someone at work or school is uber hot and really into you. Deal with it, because your top priority is at home.
2. Avoid putting yourself in situations that have a high probability of leading to trouble. I have a friend who would insist on inviting a third person anytime a guy would ask her to lunch. She was avoiding pitfalls, and even the appearance of anything inappropriate. I'm not saying that 2 people can't go to lunch together - but watch out for slippery slopes.
3. Decline advances. Yeah, it probably boosts your ego - but make sure your ego is the only thing getting boosted. If she comes on to you - see point #1.
4. No excuses. I don't care that things aren't perfect at home or that your partner 'just doesn't understand' you - or whatever excuse you might come up with.
5. Analyze things honestly and don't repeat questionable behavior. Take an honest and objective look at how things are developing. If you can pinpoint certain behaviors that could lead to trouble, stop doing them.
Good rule of thumb: If you are thinking (or fantasizing) about someone you work with during off hours, and it isn't work related, you are distracted. Staying distracted too long can lead to trouble.
Stay in touch -
Mark
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