Don't Be Crude

Wrapping up our mini series on being a gentleman, with some tips for how to act in public. Don't be crude.

I know a man who I meet four or five times a year at various functions. For some reason, he says something that makes me cringe virtually every single time I see him. Don’t get me wrong – I am no prude. But this guy doesn’t seem to know how to hold a decent conversation without saying something vulgar, graphic or plain disgusting. And to make it worse – his comments are generally very loud and in public, either at lunch, dinner or in an inappropriate setting. Whether he is trying to be funny or trying to be “manly”, he is coming across as crass, ignorant and low-classed. If these conversations were held in private (and I would suggest away from the lunch / dinner table), it would be less vile and offensive. The setting makes the difference.

Here is another example how you can get away with certain behavior when you are home alone, that just will not fly around company. I was at a friend’s house one night for dinner and my buddy let out a giant fart at the dinner table. He thought it was hilarious. His wife turned beet red and left the table to get “something” from the kitchen. Later the same night he had a huge belch during a card game and she was embarrassed at him again. My friend had a great time. His wife...not so much.

A little class and charm goes a long way in a relationship.

Stay in touch -

Mark

Chivalry is Not Dead

Continuing with our theme of being a gentleman, let me suggest that chivalry is not dead. At least it shouldn't be. Chivalry is a collection of attributes, including being courteous, generous and polite. Here are some ways that you can demonstrate chivalry in your own relationship:

1. Open a door for her – the car, the restaurant.
2. Help her with her coat (on and off).
3. Wait to eat your meal until her food arrives or until she is seated.
4. Ask if she needs anything or if there is anything you can do for her.
5. Offer your jacket if she is cold. If you’re at home, get her a blanket.
6. Offer your seat. She should NEVER have to stand while you sit.
7. Offer your hand or arm – especially in bad weather.
8. Give up your umbrella, you’re not sugar, you won’t melt. At the very least, share the umbrella.
9. Walk her to her car.
10. Offer to carry her packages.

That's 10 ways to demonstrate chivalry. What others can you think of?

Stay in touch -

Mark

Remain Calm, Cool

We're reviewing some tips for being a gentleman. Tip #1 is to keep your emotions in check. Remain calm and do not lose your cool. By losing your temper, you are demonstrating that you cannot control yourself and your emotions. Have you ever seen James Bond “lose it” or “go ballistic”? No. That is not his style. “007” keeps his emotions in check and continues to present a suave and sophisticated demeanor, no matter what circumstances he finds himself. I know, he is a fictional character – in a movie. And this is real life. But if you are predominately known as being someone who remains calm, instead of flying off the handle, you will gain the respect of those around you.

Also, if you generally don't raise your voice and lose your temper, it will give you much more credibility during those (rare) circumstances when it is appropriate for you to be angry.

It is essential to maintain control of yourself in professional settings, in social circles and definitely in relationships. Trust me on this guys – this is coming from someone who took far too long to learn this – losing your cool is simply not acceptable. It makes you look bad.

Stay in touch -

Mark

GQ - Part 1

The "G" in GQ stands for Gentleman.

Being a gentleman has many rewards. The class and charm that comes from this kind of behavior can help you in many areas of your life – including customer service disputes, dealing with people at work, in social circles and most definitely in relationships. And let’s face it - there is nothing wrong with classing up the joint by being polite and attentive to those around you, especially when it comes to treating your partner with respect, class and dignity.

I could write for weeks about being a gentleman, but we'll take just a few days and explore a few ways to act like a gentleman.

I want to set the record straight here guys. I don’t want you to think for a minute that I am asking you to turn in your “man card”, or to be less masculine or to be a big sissy. That is not what I am suggesting at all. You can be a man, be tough – whatever works for you. All I am saying is that being kind and respectful never goes out of style. Simply put - it pays to be a gentleman, and being a gentleman is cool.

Comments welcome. Feel free to share your thoughts.

Stay in touch -

Mark